Blogs for You

As some of you might have noticed, I updated the look of my blog yesterday. I still need to fix all the crappy JavaScript and such, but I think I like this new look more. I am still not switching to blogger’s new widget system, but I will hopefully improve some features of my blog. Things to look forward to:

• Fixed JavaScript
• Collapsing Navigation and DevoLinks
• Updates to Links section
• Updates DevoPlace
• More and Better Random DevoPics (they don’t work at all right now)
• And of course, more posts.

The thing that inspired me to change around my layout (color scheme more than layout to be perfectly honest) was working on Lynden’s blog. Notice the similarity between his visual theme and my new look (also notice the powered by DFR bit in the top right; I have no shame).

The inspiration behind this post, however, is to point out some blogs I like and follow that I have not added to my DevoLinks yet (although expect them there in the next few moments).

Random Musings

This is a well written little blog by Oliver. Like me, he has a tendency to abandon things after a little while, but hopefully he will stick with blogging. So far the blog is only three posts long, but they are all interesting and will written (although I guess the latest post is just one big quote).

Jesse

I’ve been following Jesse’s blog for a while now. It is a sizable 40 post blog (same size as this blog) and a lot of it seems to deal with Jesse’s personal experiences, but that is a lot of fun to read. I recommend this, but if you don’t know Jesse and read his blog, that might be a little bit creepy.

Know♣Justice

This is Lynden’s brand new blog. His old MSN Live blog was interesting and this one promises to be even better (since it doesn’t involve Microsoft).

kottke.org

This blog is huge and updates extensively. It keeps me up to date on the blogosphere. You can read a lot of funny stuff here, but mostly it is just a link blog. So it usually links to various outside sources for your enjoyment.

Kraezymann Forums

Not a blog, but a forum. It has moved to be hosted by Ben at happyspork. Go there and make an account and join in on the discussions.

Yale

Four days ago, I visited a friend of mine at Yale and got a chance to look around New Haven and campus. The University has a campus bigger than McGill’s; filled with beautiful, clean buildings and a rich history. At first it seems like an older, slightly cleaner version of McGill; then you learn that the University has an average class size that can be counted on one hand. If you look at the numbers, they are truly shocking.

McGill:

Faculty: 1,485

Students: 30,934

Campus: 80 acres (downtown)

Endowment: $760,000,000

Yale:

Faculty: 2,300

Students: 11,390

Campus: 260 acres (downtown)

Endowment: $20,000,000,000

In other words, McGill has 4 times more students per faculty member (21 compared to 5), ~31% of Yale’s land, and 3.8% of Yale’s endowment. I knew there was a big difference between public and private school, but I did not know it was so drastic. One of the best public universities receives 26 times less money than one of the best private universities. The only thing McGill can boast is beating out Yale this year for Sloan Fellowships by 4 to 3.

I enjoyed my trip to Yale. I came on a Saturday, so I did not socialize with many Yale students, but it was still nice to see my friend and find out how Yale was treating her. I don’t think I could ever fit in at a place like Yale. The vast amount of extra curricular activities the students are involved in overshadows their school work. I don’t think I would ever find activities other than attending school that I would be willing to dedicate so much time to. (I am also too lazy to be that dedicated and motivated).

Next on my list of school to visit is Harvard and MIT. I don’t have any friends attending those schools, but I think I still want to check them out (especially MIT).

In other news: I plan to finally update the structure of my blog a little, to reflect changing times.

Components of University

I have now settled down in Montreal, four Metro stops from downtown campus, in a place called Solin hall. Classes have started, and everything is going relatively smoothly so far. Attending McGill and talking to my various contacts in other Universities, as well as my new friends, has raised many questions as to the purpose of University and what makes University good or bad. After thinking for at least four minutes I have concluded that I have a basic answer to the components of University and their impact on the individual, also, I concluded in my usual “someone actually reads this blog” fashion to write it down.

Education

Education is the most obvious part of University, and probably the most important. Education is partially what you are taught, but more importantly; what you learn. In University, you learn everything from higher math, to philosophy, to how to cook and how to accept people radically different from you. The education does not differ between Universities of similar caliber. You can learn the same thing at UofS as you can at McMaster, McGill or something as impressive as Harvard or Stanford.

In my opinion, it is very important to move out during University to teach yourself life: it is hard to learn life skills living with your parents as an adult. It is important to get a job and start making money for yourself, as long as it does not hurt your dedication to school work. Last, it is very important to take as many courses as you can comfortably manage, to make the most out of your time at University.

Socialization

The people you know in university are your future trade contacts, business partners, husbands/wives and life long friends. Many of the most secure bonds of friendship are formed during your university career. This is when various schools start to distinguish themselves. The more famous, more expensive and harder to get into universities, attract a better connected, more determined, and usually more successful caliber of people. Being connected, determined and successful does not make them better friends or lovers, but it sure does make them better contacts and partners.

Of course, it is not all dependants on the university. Factors like city, your own choice of friends, previous contacts and social behavior affect who you meet at your school.

Reputation

This is the only factor that almost completely depends on the University you attend. Reputation is the ring that your University makes in potential employers or coworker’s ears. I have no clue how to evaluate a Universities reputation other than my own biased opinion or the generalized opinion of Macleans:

1^st – Waterloo

2^nd – Toronto

3^rd – McGill

4^th – UBC

6^th – McMaster

7^th – Queens

13^th – Saskatchewan

19^th – Ryerson

23^rd – Mount Allison

47^th – Nipissing

(source)

In the end, I think it is most important to go to a University where you can be in a constructive and productive atmosphere with lots of great people. If you want to learn life skills then move away from home and if you want to nurture your relationships with high school friends then stay in your hometown. If you want to learn how to work get a job and if you want to dedicate everything you have to school, then do so.

I decided to move away, and take as many courses as I can at McGill. I hope to move once more after I get my undergrad degree, just because I am used to moving. As for jobs, I have not decided yet, I am going to drop off a resume (when I get around to making it) with my landlord because it is very convenient to work for him on that boring stretch on Saturday and Sunday from noon to three instead of wasting my time with rants, expositions, MSN and facebook.

Goodbye High School

Today I finished dismantling my life, and fitting it into little packages, ready to be shipped away. One bolt, one board, one relationship at a time I have turned everything I know into something that could be taken with me. Everyone I know has found a place in my heart (surprising, yes) and memories of them will live on inside of me for as long as I have the ability to reminisce. Some have taken a bigger spot, some have taken a smaller one, but there is room for everyone.

I still remember my first day of high school: grade 9, semester 2. Question: “Artem Kaznatcheev?” answer: “Here” followed by a wave of heads turning to see me. Yes, I was really a person, not just a cleric error that put a random name on five attendance sheets in semester one. I was a real person, and I was back from Russia. Back then I still had short hair and the naïve optimism of a self-centered Russian. After: I grew my hair, met some friends, fell in love, broke my heart and was at the end of my wits by grade eleven. The band I tried to form never got anywhere, since Lynden left Saskatoon, which is okay, since that leaves one less person I have to say goodbye to right now.

Sadly, I must say goodbye, as much as I hate to do it. There is no avoiding it; there is no procrastinating until it seizes to exist. I am an adult now, and I have to say goodbye. Some people will be closer than others in University (I’m looking at you Yunjun), some will be farther away. Still, I will remember everybody.

I have traveled all my life, leaving many behind, I have grown accustomed to inconsistence… change. Today is the first time that saying goodbye actually hurt. However, I am all packed and ready to go. I guess I will include two poems, because I feel like it, and I once thought they were good. (Posted in order of being written)

- - - - -

Grade 12

No matter how agog you objurgate

You’ll not silence the cheerful knell of times

But with mal spirit you can desecrate

The youth within as your adulthood chimes

Yet, you can’t abscond your obligation

To go from child to man and back again

For you’ll always need shards of your creation

As the effulgence of life begins to drain

And no matter how stoic your aberration

You will not find true meaning in your age

As your mind fumbles graduation

You’ll see both pain and joy in every page

The years engraved like marble silhouette

The question lingers: “Am I grown up, yet?”

Re-Thought

My thoughts are wandering. Like beggar’s feet

they take me to the slums. Like beggar’s hands,

past memories reproach until they meet,

rub close for warmth and reprimands.

Repent, regret, rebuff. My retrospect,

like beggar’s mind, it elevates me past

my proper place. But I cannot reject,

upon review, the thoughts my mind amassed.

My wits still follow me. Like beggar’s eye

they judge and plea. With time, like beggar’s word

they beckon me, to listen to them cry

about how past events will be recurred.

But just like beggars on the edge of light

my thoughts can be hidden out of sight

Congratulations, it’s a beautiful tomorrow

When I set foot inside these halls, gained entry

with my books, my hopes; protruding from in-

side the bag I bore since Elementary;

Back then I did not think that deep within

I brought my fears and not just all my grins.

A fear of life, a fear of death, some fears

of fear itself and of the deadly sins

that could devour me throughout four years

Now that I graduate, I know more ways

with which to paint the things I feared at dawn.

And still I bear that same old sack. A daze,

it’s empty: the books are gone, hopes moved on.

But all my fears were purged as well and in-

stead of them I’ll birth tomorrow without sin.

- - - - -

Goodbye to anyone I did not have a chance to say goodbye in person. Have a great summer everybody!

Canada vs. Russia

Today Russia lost 5 – 0 to Canada in the gold medal match at Junior Hockey World Cup. It is time like these that make me struggle with my identity. On the one hand I am a Russian patriot; on the other hand I enjoy Canada. I decided that I would be sad at the Russian defeat for two key reasons. The main reason is that I am Russian and I need to hold onto my Russian pride. The second reason is that most people will be happy that Canada won, and I want to be a thorn in their side.
Picking between Russia and Canada is one of the hardest choices for me when it comes to allegiance. I mean picking between something like Russia and Ukraine, or Canada and U.S.A is a no brainer. In the resent Gasprom affair between Russia, Ukraine and Europe, I was quick to side with my motherland. I found myself ridiculing a Ukrainian on the radio who spoke for the Ukrainian side of the issue, because his points were absurd. I was also deeply disappointed when the EU did not give Russia or Gasprom any support against the thieving Ukrainian government. Ukraine spoke like we were raising prices unjustly, while we were just trying to bring them to the market standard instead of selling gas for ¼ of its price to those orange revolutionaries.
In the end, hockey is not a big part of my life. From a purely sport view, I have no allegiance to either team. The only thing binding me to the Russian team is national pride. What really matters is that the Finns beat the Americans and kicked them off the podium.

Broke and Happy vs. Rich... and Happier?

Being broke is both a gift and a curse. Well, I guess it’s mostly a curse. Today I had a chance to experience first hand the curse of being broke. I stopped by the corner store after school. There I was, gathering some food, making my way to pay. I whipped out my bank card with confidence of that I was paid recently and therefore I have money. After 3 tries, I realized that I am still as broke as a hobo. I spent all my money in early October buying a present for a friend, and still my bank account is empty.
Originally the gift was going to be expensive for me, but not nearly as much as it turned out. I organized a big gathering with a whole bunch of people and I took pledges from them and they would give me the money later… not too great of a plan. Today I am still broke and a whole lot of people still owe me money. I can not really go and demand my money for to big reasons: it is not nice and I did not write down the names of the few people that paid me. My friends parents offered to cover any expenses that were too great from the gift, but that just is unacceptable. When you make a gift, you make a gift to the whole family and you can not have them pay for parts of their own gift. Hence, I will just have to burden the debt and hopefully 50 cents will get me by.
Normally I would not have a problem with being broke, but my dad is gone until the 14th. I will be out of food tomorrow: that means I need to survive for 5 days on 50 cents.
This raises a question: does money bring happiness? I am broke, and very happy that I gave my friend a good gift. However, I am also going to be hungry for the next 5 days and when I am hungry I am not happy. Also, if you think about it, its money that got the gift and money that made happiness in the first place.
I believe “money does not bring happiness” is a novel idea, but a misleading one. It implies that you can be broke and happy and I think that is very hard in the sort of society we live in. That being said, it does not mean that everyone should just clench their money. I have several friends who have lofty bank accounts to their name and they have no clue what do with them. Still they are scrawny in their spending and very conservative about their money. It might be the remains of my communist roots speaking, but I think that money hording is just wrong. I would understand if that was the basis of Capitalism and thus important to society. But money hording has no place in Capitalism. In Capitalism you float your capital value into all sort of investments, that is how net worth is made.
I do not understand the money horders, and I think I never will. I guess this new discovery has a big effect on the “Got to Love Your Work?” debate. The wind has now changed in favor of making money and then finding happiness. Hopefully, I will be able to make some sort of proper and meditated decisions and I hope that my lack of understanding when it comes to money horders will not damage my adulthood.

Mortality

Mortality is the concept that everyone has to die sometime. We spend our lives dreading and avoiding the topic. We are always immortal until proven otherwise and many never want to be proven wrong. In the end, (if you’re not religious or superstitious) you never will know if you are mortal or not. The only way for us to realize our own mortality is to lose someone we know and love. Today, I realized I am mortal.
Around 3 o’clock my grandmother called, to tell me that my great grandmother has died. It was not a surprising death per say, but it was still shocking. Even when someone is just shy of a century, you still think they will always be around. My great grandmother lived a simple life in a small Russian town. She grew most of her own food; her bread came from one set of neighbors, milk from another. Her son was always close by, living in the same house as her. I did not have particularly close ties to her and in my last visit she could not even distinguish me from my father due to failing health. I can not say I was a particularly wonderful great grandson, having only paid her visits a handful of times in my life. However, I still remember her, I remember her house, I remember how I build little dams on the stream nearby and I remember how we hiked through the woods. I am afraid that those memories will be lost one day, but until then I will cherish them. My great grandmother was a religious woman, and I hope heaven treats her well. Maybe she can see down and see the kind of lives we made for ourselves. I wonder if she would approve of what we have become.
This loss is a first for me in many ways. I have only lost two people to death in my life before today. One was my grandfather and the other was a family friend. My grandfather died from a heart attack before I can remember. Our family friend died on a trip mine after landing a relief plane in some third world country; maybe that’s why I have never been a big fan of “make poverty history” and such aid campaigns. My great grandmother, though, is the first person I knew well and can actually remember, that died. To me this comes as a loss, but not nearly as much of one as it will be to others.
I am worried about my grandmother, aunt and dad. My grandmother was the one that called me and told me the news. She sounded alright, but you could hear sadness deep in her voice. It was the sort of sadness you would expect after someone comes to terms with the loss of their primary caregiver. My great grandfather died in World War II and therefore my grandmother was raised primarily by her mom. I emailed my father with the news in hopes that he would call grandma and talk to her. I understand email is not the best form of communication, but he is in California right now and it was my only way to reach him. My aunt is with my grandma in Novosibirsk right now and hopefully they can handle the events together as a family.
My relatives are probably coping and planning a funeral as you read this. I will not be able to attend the funeral due to expired papers, but I hope it is a nice funeral. I think it would be wonderful if my dad could attend, maybe he can get a plane ticket and fly over after he returns from the States.
For now, I am still in Saskatoon, but now with a better sense of my mortality.

Why We Hate IE6 Part 2

As Anonymous posted under “Why We Hate IE6”:

Screw IE altogether!
The world's crappriest browser.

I did not believe that at first, but earlier today more bugs came from internet explorer. My blog no longer shows up with IE at all. I will fix the problem as soon as I can. On Macs (when running IE) the blog still shows up but with formatting problems in the right sidebar. I think the errors are from the new Google Maps feature I added, and I will make the feature invisible for IE users as soon as I can.

To make matter worse, my great grandmother died today. This of course is not related to IE at all (or so I hope), but I only found out moments ago as I was writing this post. I hope she is given a nice funeral, I wish I could attend, but my papers are expired and I would not be granted entrance into my mother country.

Trick or Treat 'till You Drop!

Is there really an age when you have to stop trick or treating? Today, two other grade 12 students and I went to find out. Dave, Yunjun and I were not turned down even once. Now, do not get me wrong… we defiantly did not look like little kids. Dave is a pretty big guy and you could see his beard through his make up. Yunjun is rather tall for a Chinese boy and was not dressed up at all. I was wearing my leather jacket and even though I am on the skinny side, I am not short. We only had time to do about two dozen houses (and even that is an optimistic estimate), but not even one turned us down. Yunjun and Dave came out with a good amount of candy. Several times through our escapade discussion of doing this in University came up. Hence, to repeat myself: “is there really an age when you have to stop trick or treating?”

Why We Hate IE6

Another small post because as the reader can see, I have been remodeling my blog lately (and that took away writing time). I have been making the posts resize to fit your screen. I know it might look kind of bad right now, but I will be adding another sidebar on the left with navigation and things will look better. Expect more improvements soon.
Unless of course… you are running IE! Gah! I tested my new CSS style on Mozilla Firefox and it was flawless. Oliver then checked it on his Mac with Safari and it was flawless, too. However, when you run IE on the Mac, the sidebar becomes superimposed over the post text. If you are running IE6 on Windows then the sidebar is just gone. Just freaking gone!
I am very much angered by IE’s incompatibility with all other browsers. In due time I will fix up the errors happening with IE, but for now all the IE users will have to put up with no sidebar. Sorry.
I cannot wait until IE7 is released along with Vista. Hopefully version 7 will be at least half-decent.

Not Growing Up

Today, I was talking to my mom on the phone. She kept going on about how I will have to leave Saskatoon as soon as grade 12 is over, and that I need to grow up and be a man. I always wanted to grow up and be an adult when I was a kid, but now that I am here at the borderline... I really do not know if I want to be an adult. I understand the importance of responsibility and I understand I have to grow up sometime. But I also see merit in the light heartedness of childhood and see the potential to delay adulthood. Many of my actions constitute me as being an adult; some make me more of an adult than many of my peers. Many actions, though, still keep me in a state of childhood. I do not want to take on the responsibility and consequences of being an adult. Right now, I am living as a non-existent person, because I have forgotten to renew my papers. My passport is expired and my license needs renewing, I have assignment deadlines drawling up on me from all around, but I still (completely intentionally) put off working for things like this blog, conversations with friends, “hormones” as Mrs. James would say and Counter Strike. I have the ability to whip myself into adulthood but I can not justify doing so myself. I think I am clinging to the parts of childhood I might have lost when I was younger and doing my best to stretch out what I have of my youth. Our lives fly past our lives at a constantly increasing rate. I am stuck in a dilemma between clinging on to what is left and setting myself up for the future. I think this is as good a time as any to whip out my notebook of musings and post a childish excuse for a poem:

Grade 12

No matter how agog you objurgate
You’ll not silence the cheerful knell of times
But with mal spirit you can desecrate
The kid within as your adulthood chimes
Yet, you can’t abscond your obligation
To go from child to man and back again
For you’ll always need shards of your creation
As the effulgence of life begins to drain

And no matter how stoic your aberration
You’ll confuse yourself about your age
As your mind fumbles graduation
You’ll see both pain and joy in every page
The years engraved like marble silhouette
The question lingers: “are we grown ups, yet?”

Parts of our lives are forcing us to grow up but I am just avoiding letting them control me. I am stuck in limbo between childhood and adulthood. I am ready to live alone and function as an individual, I am ready to leave my parents, but I am not ready to understand and appreciate all the responsibilities involved with it.

Connections to Keep or to Lose

Introduction
I have not posted since a short post on Friday, so I guess my plan to post once a day has failed. However, I am still going to post regularly and keep to the plan outlines in my first post. This blog is primarily for my musings and to keep in contact with people, which is today’s topic.
Today in English class we talked about the importance of high school friends and the contact you keep with them. It was an interesting topic and I thought it would make a good blog entry and would be in the spirit of my web log. In class we dealt with such ideas as our ten year reunion and some little blips about who would become who. Obviously, I was most likely to be a drunken hobo on the street (which I am planning to do, but that is a different issue) in my class. Since I am enrolled in the advanced program, that was not to much of a prediction.

The “Advanced” Mentality
I have not really talked to any of my schoolmates about this to get their opinion, so the following is mostly my interpretation. In the advanced program we develop a closer bond than most of the other students, since we share many of the same classes and think from the same branches. We are mostly liberal minded (or democratic for all the Americans). Some are on the more conservative end of liberal *coughs out Phil’s name*, and others are very much left wing. The liberal minds could be from our “better” education or maybe the more free forming structure of our classes. I have never taken the time to analyze the program in enough detail and such issues are probably best asked of Jennifer W.
Through my four years in the program I have had time to analyze a general feel of the class. My assessment is not substantiated by exact case studies or extensive research but comes from the feeling deep in my gut. Personally, I think that feeling is a much better guide on a tentative matter like this. In general I believe the comradeship we form as classmates is undermined by our “smartness” and the competitive tension between us. As individuals everyone is solid and righteous, but as a program we are much farther from the human ideals.
I have seen many people sacked by their friends because they were causing an ineffective group dynamic. I am sure the same has happened to me many a time, but it is harder to be objective when looking at one self. To bring up an exact example: a friend of mine was working in a group with a bunch of other friends (I was in a different group) and he performed very much up to the standards required and even surpassed them from many angles. When the time came for group self-evaluation the group did not even take one moments hesitation from blaming all their problems on the one individual, just because that would raise their individual marks. To display my point with a more extreme example: if suddenly one of our teachers seriously offered to fail us (and had the actual legal means to do so) if we did not sabotage a friend’s project, most of us would not hesitate to do so or at least would seriously consider it.
I would like to think that I am different and would never stoop to such a low level. However, I am not completely sure that I can say that honestly, as much as I wish I could. Accurate self analysis, even though it is taught to us in the program, is extremely hard to accomplish. Many of my classmates might react with a rash: “I would never do such a thing”, but that reply would only raise the question of how good/bad their self analysis is.

The Better Mentality
The lack of quotation marks is not an omission my part, because I honestly believe there is a better mentality. Like outlined in the previous section the advanced mentality has many flaws with it. I think the best connections for the future are developed outside of the school’s social setting. Sports teams, clubs and good ol’ activities outside of school is what builds close ties. This is especially good for non competitive things. Surely the relationships you develop inside of school are good… but they are good for one thing: school. So if ten years down the road you have a question about math, you can go ahead and call your math wiz. If you want out of jail, though, I really do not recommend calling him with your “one” phone call.
To reinforce this point: there are plenty of people I socialize with only in school and about school. I might be interested in their day to day life (just because I am a nosy brat) but they have no interest in mine. People like that and I keep in basic contact. I might be able to help them in one area, and they can help me in another. If however socialization with such people is expanded outside a school setting a whole new field of contact opens.
To summarize, what you can use your connections for depends on where you made the connections. If you made them in school, you can use them for school. If you made them in sports, you can use them in sports. If you made a personal connection you can use them for personal things. Therefore, the best connections are ones made on a personal level.
The mentality comes in with a person’s willingness to make connections. The problem with being in advanced for four years is that you learn to over-analyze. When you go make connections with an advancee you are open to being over analyzed. Advancees are just an example; the main point is that one of the factors of mentality is level of analyzing. The second factor is the comfort level. If a person is fine and dandy where they are they are more bent towards conservatism and not making new connections. If the person is out of their element, then they are more liberal and have to make connections.
Hence the best atmosphere is one where there is little competition and everyone is new.

Application
Applications of this knowledge can be varied. For me, the biggest application is in choosing a University. I believe that the people you go to University with are much more important that the education from that University. All Universities (of the same level) have the same education but are attended by different groups of people.

Conclusion
As my mind runs out of things to spur out I have decided that this post has not really said much. It is important to keep all the connections you can, because it is good to have a variety of different friends. Each connection has its own traits and each connection has different demands, rewards and consequences. I think it is essential to keep all the connections that you can. For me, I think I will use this blog as the primary way of keeping in touch, because it is less demanding than email. So, if you are planning to read (and especially if you do not like my pink background) then add me to your Google Reader, or other RSS feed reader (http://devilfromrussia.blogspot.com/atom.xml).

Importance of One Set of Words

I was going to make a post about my debate competition today. However, I do not have nearly enough time for an extensive post. Instead I want to talk about the speech round and in particular the comments of one of my friends and judges. I was feeling kind of down after a below-mediocre performance team wise in debate and was not personally impressed with my individual impromptu speech afterwards. However, a judge of mine gave such a huge compliment about it afterwards and I was very much flattered. The event raised an interesting topic for me: “the importance of approval of the people you admire”. I think general approval is good and general praise is good, but nothing is better than the praise of someone who is either better that you or someone you look up to, or both. I think the best kind of praise you can receive is true genuine praise from someone you look up to. Today really highlighted that issue for me and I felt obliged to post on the importance of praise from your role models.

Destructive Behavior

Today the blog will see a concise post. I am swamped with debate research and have to make my words short. Today Oliver and I released the first versions of “ProMessenger” on our schools U: drive. When we released the tool and it was rather effective. However, we found a problem with people (our own acquaintances/friends) indulging in excessive spamming. The issued raised a concern for me: why do people involve themselves in destructive behavior? There are many cases when people do things that do not benefit them just to be destructive. This destruction applies to anything from society to them. I would like to hear some feedback on the issue. Is there a reason for being destructive without benefits? Or are there always benefits?

Silly vs. Serious and White Lies vs. Dignity

Introduction
Today some facts came to my attention. Of course I will not mention details because I am hoping to not make this blog into a work of angst. I also do not want to offend any people directly. The issue I was faced with today razed two very important questions for me, and I am not able to effectively substantiate myself for either side. I can only provide my personal opinion, and if you want to add to it, then please comment. If your comments are well articulated I will add them to this entry. The first issue is what is better being silly or being serious. I am not implying to take the extremes of the spectrum, but rather what is better to be naturally silly with the ability to turn serious or naturally serious with the ability to turn silly. The second issue is distinguishing between white lies and their infringement of dignity. White lies apply to small lies that (to the person making them) seem to not be a big deal and are meant to comfort a person. Dignity or the recognition of it: is the realization that people should be told things upfront instead of beating around the bush or being lied to.

Silly vs. Serious
I find myself to be a rather silly or light-hearted person that can lean towards being serious. How well I am at being serious various depending as to who you ask. Some people think I am very much capable of switching easily to a serious mode when the time is right. Others on the other hand believe I am completely unmannered and have no sense of when fun stops and soberness should begin. I like to believe I am the first, but since the ladder exists, that is impossible. However, I also doubt I am the second extreme of the spectrum. Most likely I am somewhere in-between, or my change to seriousness is drastically different with different people. I can not be an accurate judge of such a matter; however I can defiantly say I am silly first. This bend towards lightheartedness makes me naturally biased toward the silly side and I will need all the help I can get to raise points for the serious side of the issue.
Silly:
Two days ago I was discussing movie selections with my dad and wondering what kind of movie he wants me to go rent. He said he would prefer a comedy and substantiated it with word that (roughly translated from Russian) shape the main case for vivacity very well:

“I would much rather laugh, than cry at a movie. I don’t understand all the people that pay money just to go and have a cry. Why would I want to be sad when I can laugh? Drama’s are always good, but they are nothing compared to some lighthearted comedy”

Being silly is essential to happiness, and happiness is essential to a fulfilling life. It is important to have the skill to be serious in urgent situations, but being exuberant at all the other times is essential. There is no meaning in all the things seriousness can achieve if you can not be happy about it. Being serious most of the time does allow you to be silly sometimes. All that means is that you can achieve more in your life and then enjoy it less.
Serious
Like I mentioned earlier I have a preformed biased against being predominantly serious. I understand that being serious makes it much easier to concentrate at the task at hand. The next step to that is that you can accomplish more than a silly person in the same amount of time. This could leave you more leisure time to enjoy what you worked towards, but I do not think that case is always true. I think the whole debate comes down to which is more important; what you have or how you use it. To dumb it down (and make much more sexual): “is it the size, or how you use it?” Of course it is easy to say that what you achieved is more important, but you need to remember that all men end six feet below the ground. Of course you can say that being silly is selfish that you only make yourself happy, while if you were serious you could leave more to your children and make their lives better.

White Lies vs. Dignity
As a person, I try my best to give everyone dignity and avoid white lies as much as possible. If you ask me something like “do I look fat in this dress” and you actually look fat I will state it. I do this for two reasons. One is to because I prefer to not have people blind me with their blind eyes and hence I try not to do the same to them. The second is because I am a very blunt person. I believe bluntness and frequent justified criticism is the only way to bring meaning to my praise. In my opinion praise is nearly worthless from someone who praises everybody. As you can see, I am very much biased towards the dignity side. I do not believe in lying to people just because I think it will not harm them and it will just make them feel better. Of course there are always exceptions in my mind, but that is my general ideal and way of displaying my bias on this issue.
White lies
The benefit of white lies is that they can be used to make people feel better or to avoid hurting them. However, in the end they are still lies, just not serious ones. I understand the benefit of giving people compliments through white lies or avoiding hurting them, but I think those only provide surface happiness.
Dignity
Treating people with dignity I think is essential. You have to avoid using white lies at all costs, because I think being direct and upfront is more rewarding in the end. You do not have to be extremely blunt but direction is essential. It will not give people a quick fix of happiness like white lies could, but I think in the long run treating people with dignity and being upfront is more rewarding. Plus, I find that a friend that can be completely honest with you is a much better friend then one that says lies as compliments.

Conclusion
As I outlined, I am a silly person that tries to treat people with blunt dignity. I believe the debate between silly and serious is not resolved in my mind. Even with my silly bias I can see a lot merit in both arguments. My arguments for white lies are fewer and in that case I think dignity wins. I will be happy to reevaluate my decision as time passes. I will update this post with any significant comments and maybe eventually write a follow with better formed opinions.

Welcome to the Devosphere

So let’s start this blogging thing. What can I really say about blogging? Well, I did the teenage angst blog: that was okay, although pathetic. Livejournal is good for that sort of thing. Blogger here though... this has taken the Blogosphere to the next step. We have left the stage of needless teenage angst provided by such thing as Livejournal (and now MSN Spaces) and entered the world of publishing. This seems very much a more formalized place where people can post their opinions instead of their angsty life. I have not really looked around the blogs on this site but hopefully when I get around to it I will not be disappointed.

I will be going away to University after this school year ends, so hopefully this can be one of the ways I stay in touch. Most of my friends are staying here and attending the University of Saskatchewan, but my parents will kill me if I do. They think (and I mostly agree) that the UofS is a second rate University; hence I will be going out of province and after undergrad out of the country.
I have recently narrowed myself down to 3 Universities: McGill, McMaster and Waterloo. However, I still do not have an exact idea of what I want to do, or even what field I want to go into. I want my blip of an existence to make a difference and have some sort of impact. I want my job to involve people, and yet still apply some of my analytical talents.
My mom is a doctor and she wants me to become one too. She wants me to grow up and take over her practice. However, I am not interested in medicine. I have more interest in my father's field: Physics. However, he has a dual PhD in Physics and Mathematics, so I have too much to live up to there. I am also interested in Political Science, but sadly that is not a good field for making money.
I do not want to sound shallow and centered on money. However, I grew used to a lifestyle that requires a good amount of money to maintain. My parents will pay my way through University, but it is below my dignity to rely on them even for one day after I am out of school.

But bringing this back to blogging, this was an example of the sort of things you might see from me. Most posts, however, will involve more real information and less about me. This is more of an introductory post saying a bit about me and why this blog exists. My friend Kumaran brought me back to blogging and introcuded me to blogger, so check him out. Hopefully I will update regularly and make this blog interesting enough to be worth reading. Have fun in the blog of Devil from Russia, and remember, always bring a map when you enter the blogosphere!